Hello I am back! After two weeks of nary a peep, I’m writing in my blog again with a fresh start. I consider it an achievement when I usually jump in and out of my blog in years, maybe months if I’m being generous. So now it’s June, and it’s time to reassess my performance for May.
Sadly, I didn’t manage to complete any of my goals for May. When things get too much for me, I have this bad habit of retreating into a corner and burying my head in the sand. The project I’m doing looks really daunting and nowhere near finished, my finances aren’t doing great, and everything just looks like a fail.
I did a lot of thinking though, took a lot of walks… And if there’s one good thing that happened, I didn’t fall into the usual trap of hating myself and focusing on my failures. I resolved to try better next month, aimed with lessons I learned during May. I realized the reason why I didn’t want to touch my project was despair at the HUGE scope. I made it too big again! If I want to finish this game, I have to scale it down, reassess, rewrite. And that by itself was a burden off my shoulders.
Another good thing was May rekindled my love for drawing. I’m drawing so much more and I’m really happy! I have decided that I loved VNs because I can share my art and stories through this medium. I’m not very fond of Programming, I realized, and it’s one of the reasons for my discouragement. Thinking of the programming along with art and writing made me feel stretched thin, and it just made the huge scope of the project seem hopeless. I’ll try to focus on things one step at a time next time. It’s probably not going to be easy, but at least I know I’m moving in that direction.